loving someone far away is the hardest and easiest thing to do.
i can’t think of any time i’ve ever felt so breathless and squirmy and lovey right next to feeling empty on the verge of tears all the time? it’s such a cosmic joke that the best person for me in almost every sense is so fucking far away. what the fuck. and i see these couples flitting by all day that can only see the face in front of them as a face and a plan for tomorrow and when i see the face i love i see a screen thats full of my germs cos i kiss it too much and a plan i have for tomorrow, for next week, for the next two years, forever??? or nothing, maybe. i have this deep deep sense in my body that we won’t be apart forever. but i am not courageous enough to believe it with every fiber of my being. with 99/100 fibers i know. 99.9999999999 fibers. there’s just this little snatch that gets in the way sometimes. the snatch that made me fail a final or end up with friends that hate me or lose family i never knew. it’s probably me? i might be the snatch. i manage to ruin most stuff after all, it’s my own fault i’m a tired chub who just wants to get The Fuck Out of here –mostly. cos i eat too much bread and don’t sleep enough. i dream too much. the snatch could be he meets someone. or he gets fed up with grasping at cell connections and cuts it. or maybe my phone falls into an abyss and i perish on the spot and nothing matters anyways cos in an abyss i can make him exist next to me if i want to. i don’t understand how my body exists in a stretch of time, why i can only be in now and not later or before. i have trouble swallowing that two years will be here tomorrow and tomorrow never really ends because tomorrow is where my head always is. most of the time i have trouble giving a shit about time / the universe / anything because my brain is swimming in my body and my heart is !!! !!! !!! !!! when he does that thing with his face. cos i really love him so much i don’t care about the universe. i can do whatever the fuck i want. sometimes the worst thing that occurs to me is that i know exactly what i want and if i were left alone i could do it. i know i know i know i know. i know i love him. you. i know i love you. i know.
when u find out ur on ur period it’s like Everything tht has happened recently suddenly makes sense like Oh.that’s why. that’s why everything is ugly and i am suffering
(via saturdaynightpink)
the cup of coffee i had has just worn off and I’m feeling super sleepy, taking a break from my art midterm and feeling a little less anxious about my tests tomorrow. thinking about a boy i love very much. want 2 sleep so much
All my writing has been a letter to you.
(via childoflust)
cis feminists know when they’re being objectified when men reduce their personage to their genitals but don’t recognize the harm they do to trans women and to themselves when they reduce their womanhood to genitals …?
(Source: antiandrogen, via estpasmoi)
Even with pants sagging, weed in lungs, middle fingers in the air, your life still matters, you still don’t deserve to die. Fuck your respectability politics. It does not excuse murder.
(via sensitiveblackperson1-deactivat)